it's not about reciprocity.....

<nnifer climbs on soapbox>
reciprocity can be most easily defined as the mutual exchange of an object,gift, favor, etc. however simple this concept may appear to be, i believe that many people have taken this seemingly kind concept completely out of
context. (being polite and saying "thank you" does not follow the ideas of messed up reciprocity) yes, friendship and relationships in general are about give and take, but what was once an action of proper etiquette (named by some), has now turned into a vicious stressful cycle of tallies. instead
of doing or giving something to someone out of love or kindness, we have turned it into a never-ending struggle of equal return. giving should be about one's desire to share freely without expecting anything in return,
instead of giving with the expectation of return. there shouldn't be any counting invovled....PERIOD!!! sheesh! this overrun idea of reciprocity turns friendships or relationships into one of competition and
tiredness...so-and-so gave took me out to eat at such-and-such a restaurant, and i saw that the gift they gave me was about $30, so that means next time i should take them to such-and-such a restaurant and buy them about a $30 gift, so that they know i love and care about them. whew!

so why do people engage in this destructive (i believe) behavior? i think it's because in our western culture we have become accustomed to the idea that there are always "strings attached" to any given proposal, as well as any action of sharing or giving. the idea of sharing has gone from loving to cynical. why waste time and energy trying to remember exactly who called who on the telephone the last time, or how much your friend spent for your birthday? exactly.....DON'T!!!

<pregnant pause....nnifer's voice softens>

my husband and i strive to share and love others genuinely without expectation, and because of this we are fulfilled and deeply joyful. we've learned to appreciate the thoughtfulnees behind the giving and the love that motivates it. isn't this what love is all about?

<silence....nnifer steps down from soapbox>